no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
