I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
