I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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