what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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