Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
