My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
