its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Quick, to the slutcave!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
