nutella sex= disaster
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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