Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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