this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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