Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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