everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
