I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
