Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
