Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Actions speak louder than pants.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
