i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
