wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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