i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
