I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
