i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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