Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
