she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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