Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
