I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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