you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
