we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
