Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Couch. On fire.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
