you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
