it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
