she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Come see our sink grown plant.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
