Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
