Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
me + whiskey = a bad person
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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