I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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