I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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