I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
