Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
