I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
