How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
