so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
