I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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