So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
