There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
