you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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