just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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