What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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