Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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