perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
