just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
