Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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