Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You pole danced in your parka.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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