Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
