How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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