I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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