The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
