that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
