Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
