Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
