Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize