M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
