Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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