She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
