just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize